Friday Light: McDonald’s Dollar Menu Temptations

I’m weak. Like a girl at a hip-swiveling Elvis concert. Can’t say no. Willpower shot.

I hear from within me a whisper of sinister rationalization:

You deserve a break today.

To which I answer “yes. Yes indeed I DO deserve a break today.” And then another voice…

You want it, you need it.

Another answer of “I do want it, and yup, I do need it.” But then, the voice goes one too far with…

I’m lovin’ it.

Sitting here in my office, I realize I’m having an inner dialog with slogans from McDonald’s. Dang marketing department.

Generally, this self-talk happens in a matter of seconds and transpires just before lunch, which, of course, is already packed. I have an apple, a healthy wrap with 46 grams of fiber, and even some Greek Yogurt for dessert. Healthy, yes, but I want the trash food. I want the warm, gooey goodness that can only be found on a McMenu.

I’ll indulge in a McDouble from time to time, ordering it without cheese to make myself feel that I’m still cutting out some of the ‘unhealthy’ calories. Like I’m both auctioneer and buyer at the same time, the script often reads like this:

Auctioneer: I have a lovely McDouble on this pristine, plastic encased menu. I’ll start the bidding at one dollar.

Me: That’s not really even food. I’ll feel terrible after I eat whatever that thing is but I deserve a break today don’t I? Hmmmm. Ok I’ll take it.

Auctioneer: Going once, going twice….

Me: I’ll take it if I can have it without cheese. That’ll make it healthy. Right?!

Auctioneer: Sold to the man with weak willpower.

On my better days, I arrive having already eaten my healthy lunch. I’m just at McDonald’s to get out of the office for a wee bit. They have free wi-fi. They also have Diet Dr. Pepper. I’m a hero. I’m out of the office. I get a treat I love. I haven’t indulged in the McDouble McProblem.

After two (or three) free refills I have enough caffeine in me to levitate back to the office. Thanks Diet Dr. Pepper. Thanks McDonald’s.

Calorie Free McTreat at McDonalds

What are your midday temptations? What marketing department tantalizes your subconscious… and wins?


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Slightly Embarassing Creative Quirks

As creatives, we all have idiosyncrasies. I’d like to know your creative quirks that play into your art and creative process. And by ‘your art,’ I mean: getting the kids ready for bed, conducting a non-boring sales meeting at work, making a meal, or designing a dream from concept to fruition.We’re all artists.

I’ll start the ball rolling before you divulge your foibles.

On the cusp of writing this list, I’ll just say this: if you could see me, you’d describe the look on my face as chagrined. (I had to look ‘chagrined’ up to make sure I was using it correctly. Geek-factor.)

Weird music tastes. My 5 most recent iTunes downloads:

    1. “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga. Just embarrassing, but I love it. There, I said it.
    2. “Tightrope” (featuring Big Boi) by Janelle Monae. So. Very. Good. It’s like hearing a good preacher expound on the Bible. She makes it come alive. Joy-singer. Here’s the video on youtube.
    3. “Bennie and the Jets” by Haley Reinhart. Yes, she was on American Idol. And yes, this version is awesome.
    4. “Forever” by Chris Brown. I first heard this while watching NBC’s “The Office.” It was featured in the Jim/Pam wedding. Celebration music extravaganza.
    5. Make Your Own Kind of Music” by Mama Cass Elliot. Butter-voiced Mama Cass (of Mama’s and the Papa’s fame) belts out this lovely anthem to artists with pinpoint croonery skills.
OCD Watchdog/Mild Participator. 3 weird things:
    1. I like shows like “Obsessed” and “Hoarders.” At times, I can identify with the people on the shows. That scares me. Then I realize I’m not like them. That relieves me. Emotional journey.
    2. A ‘thing’ with odd/even numbers. When turning up the volume on the TV, I’ll often want it to be an even number. Why? I dunno. But then I think of the people on shows like “Obsessed” and I flip it to 13 or 17 and throw caution to the wind.
    3. Supersonic ears. I often wear earplugs to concerts, theaters, even churches at times. Sensitive ears.
    1. I usually sleep on the floor. Actually, I start in the bed and then, around 2 or 3 AM I end up waking up and moving to the floor. Why? I like it. It happened last night.
    2. I don’t call my wife ‘dear’ or ‘honey.’ We keep it simple: we call each other ‘babies.’ ‘Dear’ and ‘honey’ never seemed right to us. Nor does ‘deer honey.’
    3. I was invincible once. I took a Starbucks Venti Iced Americano (I believe it has 34 shots of espresso in it) into the movie theater to watch The Dark Knight. Upon leaving the theater and finding my way home, the combination of the movie and caffeine told me that yes indeed, I too was a superhero. I was Batman until that buzz wore off. I’ve not had a Venti Iced Americano since.

Enough of my quirks.

Who’s honest enough to share one or two of your creative quirks that make you who you are?

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